Eyebrows

From Dec. 10-09

Dear People in a Different Time Zone,

I told you earlier that I shave my head, but not my eyebrows, twice a week. I was in the shower the other day and it occurred to me that it might be a fairly good idea to go ahead and whisk off the brows as well this time. I shaved off one (the left) and just as I was ready to get the other, I thought, “Wait a minute! Maybe this will look peculiar to some people.” So I left the right brow intact.

I dried off and looked at myself in the mirror. Interesting. But a tiny bid odd. So I took an eyebrow pencil and drew in a leftie brow. Pretty good. But then I had an inspired thought. I erased the new brow (you didn’t realize those eyebrow pencils have erasers?) and re-drew the brow, but with a severe arch in its middle. That way it, interestingly, looks like I’m accusing whoever I look at of something. Now, when I peer at people most, guiltily, say “What?” I feel this is good.
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But I didn’t feel good either going into or coming out of our last game. For some peculiar reason the one-rain-every-47-years rule was broken and it rained couple of days in a row. The parking lot at the sport arena isn’t nearly big enough to accommodate all the cars so people park all over the surrounding area and especially on the street that I live on, which connects to the gym. So I usually park about a quarter-mile away from the gym and walk. On game night this time there was plenty of standing water on this narrow road and on the main road in front of the gym water went from curb to curb. Same with the parking lot in front of the gym. So I had no choice but to slosh through this water in my newish Nikes. I muttered curses to myself. In Macedonian.

I saw the tail end of the game before ours. Isa Town was down 8 points to Ittihad with 30 seconds remaining but managed, amazingly, to win the game at the buzzer—couple of steals followed by 3-pointers and other wild stuff. We didn’t fare as well.

We had a good start vs. once-beaten Hala and led 30-22 after the first quarter—which ended with their point guard making a wild running shot to barely beat the buzzer. Maybe a sign of things to come. We played fairly well the second quarter and led by 11 at the break.

With nine minutes remaining in the game we were up 9 but from this point onward Hala had the kind of game you seldom enjoy—one in which nearly every shot goes in. They surged ahead in the final two minutes and led by 3 when we had a late steal with ten seconds to go and got up two 3-pointers; but neither would go and the final buzzer sounded. So we lost, 96-93, and are now tied with them at 7-1. In the last quarter Hala made 11 of 13 shots inside the arc and 4 of 10 on 3-pointers, while missing no free throw attempts. We play defending champions Ahli Tuesday nite, a strong team with two losses. Both teams need to win.
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I saw Henry the South African at church Friday. He was telling me about black mambas in his country. You probably think that’s a hip hop dance but it isn’t; it’s a deadly snake. People get bit by them in agricultural areas and then paralysis starts, then sometimes death. When dead, very few people recover. The moral is: always wear high boots in the bush. And don’t taunt black mambas, as much as it might seem like a good idea at the time.

Do you think the only thing that Henry can do is engineer the reclaiming of land? No, he’s also a sailing guy—big boats. Has one of his own in Capetown and also teaches folks how to handle them and sometimes delivers them for people. He had one job where he picked up a boat in Annapolis, Md., and sailed it, via Brazil and alongside Africa, down to Capetown. He advertised in a U.S. paper for three crewmen. He already knew one candidate, a “young go-getter.” He liked the guy a lot but there was a catch—the guy wanted to bring along his girlfriend. Henry demurred. The guy brought the girl to meet Henry. He enlisted them both on the spot, discerning that the girl was likely a fine cook. The fact that she was beauteous had nothing to do with the selection. A fine trip was enjoyed by all and, by golly, the young lovely turned out to not only be handy in the galley, but a “Jolly good sport” as well. Hard to beat that combo.
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And think about this: if Bahrain keeps reclaiming land at its current pace do you think its land mass could increase from the current 600 million square miles to the magical BILLION square miles?

You already know that there’s a bridge, or “causeway,” that connects Bahrain to Dharan, Saudi Arabia. I drove across it once and think it’s about 20 miles long. It allows tons and tons of Saudis to pour into this island nation every weekend. Did you know that alcohol is legal here, and that there is also a certain girl industry? The white-thobed visitors know it too. They spend a lot of money here.

Well, soon the traffic will be even more fierce. Another causeway is being developed, this one between here and Qatar. It will be a longer trip, at least an hour and a half drive but before too long we’ll be welcoming tourists from that nation here as well. Where will I park? Will I come home and find one of them sleeping in my bed?

I’ve applied for a license to install shawerma stands every 15 miles along the new bridge. I will also erect electronic billboards that flash subliminal messages to the effect: “Want to be able to drink more? To frolic more? Eat shawermas…eat shawermas…eat shawermas …”

What recession?

Coach GP